worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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