just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
