I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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