she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
