Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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