So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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