The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
