What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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