Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
