thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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