Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
