He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
