proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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