My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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