Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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