You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
