My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
