me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
