Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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