He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
