I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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