Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
