He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
