yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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