She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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