i used baking grease as lip gloss
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
