she woke up with a sticky ear
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
