I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
