Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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