apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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