In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
