dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
