Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
