Tell her she can't have a vagina
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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