i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
