I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
