Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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