Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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