Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
