In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The uberlube is also flammable
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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