is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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