I think my fart just growled at me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
