Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
