we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
