I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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