Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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