He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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