You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
