in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
