Porn is love you can see.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
