Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
there's paper in my vomit.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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