You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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