**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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