just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
