It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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