I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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