Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize