Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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