yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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