The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
