And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
