Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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